If she's cheating and you know it check her pants

Algernon is rich, Algernon is 83 and his wife Nancy is 38.
Algernon sits at home, listening to the heart rate of Nancy when she's not
at home. His heart rate doubles when her's does too as she enters London
zoo. Knowing she hates animals there's only one thing she could be up to.
His temperature drops as he discovers on his little machine that her body
temperature is rising, how obscene. She leaves the zoo twenty minutes later
which is the prove that she's been on the move with another man. His heart
rate triples as her's decreases gradually. When Nancy opens the door she
finds Algernon on the floor. He died because he didn't know her office
friends were in the zoo to see a show. A show where Japanese scientists
demonstrated that trust was somehow underrated.

How many paranoid guys will die because they tried to be a spy?

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/050528/344/fjzbd.html

Confusion over leaving paradise

A few months ago I had an interesting discussion with a Christian. We argued for hours whether it makes sense to take the bible literally or understand it as a metaphor. Her point was that if you treat it as a metaphor you can basically forget it anyway because it can be interpreted somewhat randomly. It would loose its worth as a compass to guide you through life.
I answered that it’s not possible to take it literally since there are conflicting passages. Somewhere it says that we were formed after the picture of God and that our goal is to become more God-like. Take the Ten Commandments. Thou shall not kill. But God kills all the time. Now if I follow this commandment I don’t become like God. What shall I do?

We didn’t even agree whether there are eternal values which are true all the time. This made me think about my own values. One of the things I really believe in are human rights. For me there are no exceptions but I have to accept the fact that sometimes even basic human rights have to be broken in order to prevent disaster. The moment I believe something to be completely true (which means free of all contradictions) I expose it. Now the moment somebody finds a contradiction the whole idea is invalidated and it implodes leaving nothing but scattered pieces.
Well that’s life without the boredom of paradise.

The system doesn’t only need Viagra

“The moment you are something you’ve stopped becoming something”. (Don’t remember who said that, but it’s true I think.)

Politically there are no right or wrong systems. Communism isn’t bad and globalization isn’t bad either. It’s a question of timing. It amazes me how people can hold on to an ideology and refuse everything which doesn’t fit. There are hell a lot of people out there who think that the world is like some kind of machine. Put a little liberalism here and everything will be great. Follow the market, the bible or whatever else and you’ll live in paradise.
I must admit in our complex world it’s very attractive to believe that there is a truth and as soon as everyone follows it there will be a happy end (deep in our hearts everybody somehow loves happy ends, right?). But in the end all systems tend to nullify what they’ve created. It’s like from the moment we’re born death is coming nearer everyday.
In some sense it’s great that we live in a society where someone who works really hard can make millions. On the other hand that’s not worth a penny because rich people damage the very system which made them rich by avoiding it. A company for example can only prosper if the employees and the managers are good at what they’re doing. Theoretically the market could guarantee that only the best get the job, because only the best have the skills needed to succeed. But is this really the case? Is it just coincidence that most managers, politicians and influential families are somehow all connected? Is it coincidence that in every day life it’s easier to get a job if you know someone who’s working there? Now where’s the competition? Where’s the competition if there are only a limited number of Harvard graduates who all know each other?
Same’s with communism. Where’s the equal opportunity if one guy stays at home or goes partying while the other one works his butt off but doesn’t get anything out of it? If you treat the asses like the noble everyone will become an ass, because it simply needs less energy than to behave in a civilized manner. It’s as simple as that.
Nevertheless there are situations where some systems are more useful than others. Holding on to feminism, liberalism, capitalism, communism or whatever is about as helpful as swallowing Viagra to cure every physical problem which arises just because it helped in the past. Holding on to an ideology means that you quash innovation, the very thing we need to solve problems. Something we believe in can only survive if we don’t stubbornly treat it as sacrosanct.
You can’t trick death with manoeuvring the same way every time. You have to be innovative so that you can take problems by surprise.

Science vs. Fiction Part 1

You know what really makes your doctor and the rest of the scientific brigade sick? It’s that the age of enlightment has never happened. Although we believe to live in a rational world, the human’s love for (supernatural) stories never really opened the door to rationalism. There is nothing we crave more than miracles, things which do not fit the pattern. Rationalism is around us but we're full of mystery.
They’re pissed off because they do the hard work, locked away in labs dressed in white, green or blue coats, but nowadays we choose to rather believe the stories which the old lady with the crystal ball reads in our palms. By the way this lady is high all the time.
Anyway they’re researching really hard, neglecting their wives and husbands and life itself to find out how all of us can have peaceful and happy relationships and lead a healthy life which satisfies all our needs and lasts if possible forever. Huhuh…
Then there are stories, legends and myths which have lasted longer than almost any scientific fact. No labs, no stress. Emerged out of nowhere.
Although there is overwhelming scientific evidence that there is neither a monster in Loch Ness, nor that the world was made in seven days the stories have come to life. What is alive does not want to die.
However what happens to the so-called scientific facts? Well if they’re a thing of the past we laugh about them (the guys were really stupid who thought God was angry when there was a thunderstorm), we forget them or they become stories.
So what are the most powerful stories about? They’re about things which science does not really have an answer for. Take this: apparently we choose the perfect partner based on the sense of smell. Why on earth did Oedipus marry his mother then? Scientifically there is probably no worse person on the planet to have kids with. Because Oedipus didn’t really exist???
No sorry. People have had kids with their sisters and mothers. Their names were just not Oedipus. That’s the crucial point: stories are a sort of science, a truth.
Therefore there is a competition between science and fiction. Science fights myths because it’s jealous: people still prefer stories otherwise books would have been written in formulas.

Will a transvestite’s kid be a hermaphrodite?

Do you have a masculine or a feminine job? Now don’t just think about yourself, your whole future is at stake. According to a study from the London School of Economics parents with masculine jobs such as carpenter, accountant or an engineer tend to have little boys, whereas parents who are in caring or teaching positions usually have girls.
Now various other studies suggested that girls are easier to raise and fit more in our modern world, cause they aren’t as difficult as boys, who always want the attention of their parents (how selfish can you get???) and are getting increasingly worse grades at school. If all these studies are correct that means that I’ll be rich soon if I stay at the bank because that’s a masculine job. Now if nobody wants boys anymore there will soon be a shortage and that means they’ll have to pay me more. Yibbi!
But don’t worry, if you’re in a feminine job. Yeah it’s probably a only a question of time until the people from the masculine jobs will come and threaten your position, in order to prevent getting screaming, noisy little boys. But I’m at your service so this is your rescue plan:

If you want to get rich arrange a marriage with an Asian family. Don’t get it? Well according to yet another study, Asian families, especially in those countries where there is a one-child policy prefer boys. Girls are becoming more and more subject to abortion now guess what happens, when there are no girls left to marry? Well, they will give you as many camels and Sake as you like for your daughter. Oh I love scientific studies and with their so called evidence, it’s such a fun toy.
Deal or no deal?

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/050521/323/fjiir.html

Hey Pope please explain...

why God is against homosexuality but at the same time creates homosexual animals??? I have discussed homosexuality with Christians and most of them agree that it’s not something that God had in mind for us.
“How do you know what God has planned for us? Do you think you understand everything he’s doing?” I asked.
“Well it’s a trend isn’t it? If you take a look how our bodies have been designed it becomes clear, that male and female were made for each other.”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an atheist at all, nor am I gay. I just think that we don’t understand God’s plans right from the beginning. A reason why homosexuality wasn’t mentioned in the bible might be because it was simply not an issue at that time. Everybody knows that loads of great Greeks were homos. Nobody cared at that time nor did they later so why waste precious feathers and ink to write about something in the bible that nobody cared about?
In my opinion nobody else could have had the fantastic idea, to stop the human population from producing kids, in such a humane way than God himself. Isn’t it nice of him, that we don’t have to have rigid one child policies in order to prevent this planet from getting too crowded?
If you don’t believe the thing about gay animals please feel free to check the following links (I particularly like the first one, gay birds in the middle of biblical Israel;-):

http://www.cnn.com/NATURE/9909/18/gay.vulture.parents/
http://www.jrn.columbia.edu/studentwork/cns/2002-06-10/591.asp

The nature of an (academic) argument

You are exposed to persuasion about 18 hours a day. Actually persuasion is working right now. If you are still reading these lines I have persuaded you, that the time you are taking to read this is worth it.
In Switzerland we have to vote four times a year. The issues are diverse, coming up on
June 5:
-whether or not Switzerland should sign the Schengen contract
-if same sex couples should be given the right to register themselves (similar to marriage)
and some other stuff.
In attempt to make an “informed decision” people read the papers, watch TV and listen to debates. What follows is confusion. How on earth should I know what to do if everything which is said somehow contradicts something else? To come to a halfway decent conclusion we have to know the nature of an argument in general.

1. Arguments are about persuasion. It is crucial to understand why people support or disapprove something or the other. Think as a lawyer: who profits if something happens or does not happen?
2. Anybody can create an argument supported by evidence. If I show you my guinea-pig and state it has a serious depression and needs urgent treatment because my wellbeing depends on the wellbeing of my guinea-pig you’ll probably just laugh. Now if I show you, that patches of hair have fallen out, that my guinea-pig doesn’t eat anything anymore (not even it’s favourite bits of Swiss quality chocolate) and that I even know someone who takes anti-depressant because her pet died, which was her only friend in the world and in fact ten percent of all the patients in loony bins are there because of their pets, you might start believing me. Maybe you’ll even agree on driving me to the pet-psychologist (which costs you fuel and time). BUT what I haven’t told you is this:
I shaved my guinea-pig, didn’t feed it and wanted you to drive me to the pet-psychologist because I have an affair with him. I want an alibi in case my husband gets too nosy.
Be critical. These people are paid to make people believe anything.

So ask yourself: Who says what and why?

The Unbearable Lightness of Being (Book review)

You might ask yourself why I bother to write a book review. Well in my opinion the crits rareley write about what a book is like. Most of them just cramp the page full of fancy and cryptic words, frighting the hell out of those who'd actually wanted to read something LITERARY for the first time. Ok so this is my short summary.
Milan Kunderas The Unbearable Lightness of Being is set in the Czech Republic and is the story about Tomas and Teresa. Tomas is a surgeon and womanizer who doesn't give up other women although he's with Teresa, a waitress. It's 1968 when the Russians march into the Czech Republic. Tomas and Teresa emigrate to Switzerland to escape the communist regime. But Teresa returns leaving Tomas only a note. He has to choose between a life as a free doctor and the love of his life.
What's special about the book is the way the author merges his protagonists thoughts on well known issues, such as betrayal, with philosophy. He uses strong images which force the abstract thoughts to life like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
Don't be put off by the sometimes rather graphic descriptions and the fact that he doesn't tell the story chronically. Just open your mind for something different.

Women's right to vote

Although there have been doubts, I can proudly announce that my beloved homecountry Switzerland is not the last country on earth which introduced women's right to vote ;-). Thanks Kuwait, nevertheless as we here say, "besser spaht dänn gar nie" (better late than never), this is good news and we should all celebrate! Congrats to Kuwait! For the full article please see
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/1/hi/world/middle_east/4552749.stm

Polish your poetry for free

Ever thought you'd like to write poetry, but you don't know how and where to start? I started only a year ago myself, I'm not an expert, but I found some books and a great link, which really helped me. No, I'm not the cousin or the grandchild of the author of one of these books, and no I'm not at all the webmaster of the page I'm about to praise. So you can trust me on this ;-)

-Creating Poetry by John Drury ISBN 0-89879-443-9 takes you through the process of poetry writing. How to start, where to find ideas, meter, stanza and all that is what's discussed in here.
-The Art and Craft of Poetry by Michael Bugeja ISBN 1-58297-101-3 explains what kinds of poems exists, what they have in common and how you can write elegies, sonnets and all the rest.

The Critical Poet http://p211.ezboard.com/bthecriticalpoetsmessageboar (if the link doesn't work, just google critical poet and look out for ezboard) is where you post your poems for free. Other poets comment and what you've written and give you advice. There are different boards, where you can post your poems. If you've read some poetry books and already tried your hand at a few poems but are not used to people commenting on your work post it in the mild critique section. Otherwise jump right into the Critique and Revision section. Just don't forget to read and respect the guidelines.

Have fun!

Kristen

Europe by Interrail

Ever thought about travelling Europe by train? Ok the bad news first: you have to be a citizen of a European country to qualify for an Interrail ticket. The good news: if you are I have some tips for you to make it a little bit easier.
I travelled through Scandinavia all the way to Ireland, trough Scotland, England, Wales, The Netherlands, Germany and France.
The biggest youthhostel association is probably Hostelling International (www.hihostels.com). Make sure you have a copy of the Youth Hostel Guide Europe 2005 (available at the a.m. link in the travel section) and a copy of the European Rail Timetable (available at www.thomascookpublishing.com).
If you want to visit the big citites, such as Paris, London, Amsterdam, Dublin, Stockholm, Copenhagen or Edinburgh make sure you book the hostels at least two months in advance. Doesn't sound terribly spontaneous, but don't worry. Just fix the big cities and then while you travel just leave some days in between. You can just book two or three days in advance.
When you arrive at the hostel, there are tons of leaflets on stuff what to do and where to go. You don't have to worry too much about that.

Ok go and book your Interrail ticket. And let me know how your trip was.

Kristen

The Crystal Breaking Light

My husband confuses his wife
With the light of his life
Our wedding ring is out of crystal
His hands are crystal too
When he breaks his light
It doesn't make a rainbow at the wall
But at least I turn more colourful
Which makes me more loveable
I suppose.

250 Years of Drought

When you say I love you
Why does it sound like a shortcut to a desert
Where there is no way out?

It hasn't rained for 250 years
Where the words go to die
Which once left
Burdened with a lie
And later lost a wing.

Why are you taking me there?
Where not even vultures go
Because the flesh of dying words
Is lethal and soaked with the tears unspilled
Of those who craved loving words
But only got one-winged birds.